Announcing the Imminent Instantiation of the Eighth Armory February Birthday Party Eighth?! Can it be that that this previously unremarkable structure has kept the rain and meteorites off of our heads for eight terayears?! Well, no, actually. The fatalists amongst you probably don't believe that this abode will even exist in eight terayears, much less still be providing warmth and personal space for any of those who first occupied said domicile, or at least, first called it The Armory. BUT, meanwhile, off in one of my other assorted cortexes, the span of time that I meant to refer to was eight terrayears, until I realized that that too was wrong, because presumptuously enough we had that first party only a month after we moved in (but not quite presumptously enough to have referred to it as the “First Annual Armory Party”). So we've only been here seven terrayears. I think. In fact, I've done it on my dextromanipulators now, several times over, so I'm beginning to feel somewhat comfortable in that statement. Thus, seven it is. Seven long years. Yep, seven. Now, the all important question is: What theme could the house inspire us with after having nurtured us for all that time (that's *seven* in human years!) And the answer is: OPTICS! No, I don't know exactly why either. Ask the house! Sheesh! Fortunately, the interpretation of the theme was left to us, and we're leaving it to you. The overall sense of this theme will be lightly hinted at by the ambient activation energy for assorted optic effects which we will be providing at or about 250 nm, absolutely FREE of charge! But wait, there's more! For those sensitive souls who feel that this subtle, elegant means of powering passive displays is trying to burn its way to their occiputs by way of their optic nerves, areas of illumination at more mundane frequencies will be provided. Bring your WBLs, your fluorescent underwear and phosphorescent hairdos, your lasers (subcauterizing power levels only, please), your night-vision headwear, your shimmering gizmos and diffracting whatchamacallits and polarizing thingemebobs. EXTRA GRADE-AA SPECIAL BONUS for anyone who brings food or drink that fluoresces perceptibly. Except tonic water. We already know about that and will have lots of it, so there. In lieu of other such comestibles, also appreciated will be things to MIX with tonic water (while retaining its potability and entertaining characteristics, thus most likely “pretty-much-transparent tasty non-toxic liquids”), along with the skill to do so. Try your hand at Black Light Ping-Pong! Gaze in awestruck ambivalence at the toe that our upper living room sprouted just after the last February Birthday Party! Speculate as to what it will grow after this one! Search in vain for any more substantive change in our lifestyle since you last inspected it! Flee in mute horror as old-time geeks regale each other with their bitrot-bestrewn recollections about how much more interesting things used to be! Absorb the event so that you can one day regale others with your embellished memories! LOG IN and sit in ICB while the party mills about you (if you can see your screen through the low contrast provided by its phosphors being excited by a means their depositers never intended)! Lie in one place too long and have the giggling masses surreptitiously tack you to the floor with the conveniently located sledgehammers and railroad spikes! BE THERE or be UNILLUMINATED! When: Saturday, the Twenty-Fourth of February, Eight O'Clock Post Meridian. In a flurry of photons, John To get to The Armory: 1a. From Campus: Go down Bay to the first stoplight and turn right onto Nobel Drive, which is actually the only way you can turn onto Nobel since if you turn left you will be on Iowa Drive, and as they say, “Ni! Ni!” (Nobel Is Not Iowa). 1b. From Mission: Go up Bay to the stoplight just after the divided part and turn left onto Nobel Drive, which is blah blah blah… 2. Continue on Nobel until you come to McMillan Dr. and turn left onto it. (If you turn right you will be in someone's living room and The Armory will do it best to weasel its way out of any responsibility whatsoever.) The Armory is on the right in the middle of the first block, #305. It is a two-story house, technically off-white with brown trim, but is actually of indeterminate color during periods in which the Great Orange Sleeping Pill is below the horizon due to the fact that the yard lamp has been set to “green” to help the especially bwain-damaged find the place. We know which side of the toast our friends are buttered on. Old clunky character-graphics map that has been made COOL and MODERN by conversion to HTML (fire up those browsers NOW!): <pre> | ^-- Campus Meder St. | ------------------------------------------------------| / | / | Bay St. / Nobel Dr. | / Peach Terrace -> | | / 104 -> |* | / That Nobel Dr. | | Iowa Dr. / Other_____ ----------------+---------------- | Place | / | STOPLIGHT | V / | \ Nobel Dr. *I* / | ---------------------------/ | | M | S | | The Armory -> *A*| c | e | | | M | t | | | i | o | Alta | Bay St. Donna Ct. | l | n | Vista | --------------| l | | | | a | | | | n *H*| | | | ^ Yet Another Place </pre>